Remember when you were pregnant and would research every, single thing about parenting?
I would become so obsessed that my next google search would be, “pregnant and can’t quit researching, is that normal?” I probably read over 100 blogs, checked my Bump app every day and then some. On April 1st, 2016 my biggest blessing was placed in to my arms and all that research, it went out the window. Everything I read, while great information; was not “real life”. No one ever mentioned how hard it really is. Of course, you can find schedules for your baby, they layout the basics and you expect being sleep deprived. The cold hard TRUTH about pregnancy, actually taking your baby home, recovering and raising a human… I never found anything that really explained it. So I figure, why not start a blog. This is a great outlet for me and maybe some of you can relate to my “real life mommin’.”
Before I start, I want to say that I am extremely grateful for my miracle boy and love him more than I could possibly express. All of us parents feel that way, but let’s be honest, pregnancy and parenting isn’t all cupcakes and glitter.
Pregnancy, you know the most beautiful thing in the world. You glow, your hair is thick, luscious and your man thinks you are more attractive than ever before. I call bullshit! Pregnancy was hard on me. I threw up for 16 weeks straight, not just morning or night sickness. I am talking, if I lifted myself up in bed..it was game over for me. I was sick all day, every day. When I finally felt like somewhat of a human again, food and I.. we had an affair. See, I have maintained a healthy lifestyle for some years now and always stuck to a low carb diet. When I was able to keep food down again, it was no mercy. I ate everything in front of me. I would “joke” to my sister-in-law that I would go to Arby’s and spend $30 on just myself. It wasn’t a joke, I could clear a roast beef n’ cheddar MAX in 5 minutes. I gained 75 Pounds; or as I call it, an entire 6th Grader. I felt disgusting and hated looking at myself in the mirror. I had fat on my knee caps and I didn’t know that was possible. The veins in my now Discovery Channel boobs looked like a map of the United States and well, I couldn’t even see my downstairs so shaving was hit or miss… literally. While I was amazed that my body was growing my perfect, miracle child and I was so extremely grateful for that. I was devastated that my body didn’t look like all of the pregnant girls on Google Images, Pinterest, any maternity model and friends. I didn’t have a perfect round belly, it was more of a D shape, at best. My love handles were out of this world. The took on a life of their own and I just spread like butter on a warm blueberry muffin, straight out the oven. I almost backed out of my maternity shoot because I couldn’t look at myself and I wasn’t quite sure how anyone else could look at me either. I am so thankful now, that I followed through. My friends and family told me how much I glowed and how beautiful I was, but in my best jokingly fashion I would say, ” Thank you, it’s my bronzer.” I will admit, I have good hair. It’s a quality about myself that I will give credit too, however; when I was pregnant, it would fall out. Color would pull funny colors and it didn’t grow, at all. Now looking back at my pregnancy I see that all of the, what I called “bad” things I went through did not happen without purpose. I tell my husband and my mother-in-law all the time that my son, Sullivan took my best parts. He took my immune system, my balance, my memory a little bit of my sense of humor and a whole lot of personality. If anything, I couldn’t be happier that he took them. I would give him my best of everything, always. My sweet boy beat the odds. He beat the statistics and percentages and the doubts. I was sick for all those weeks, so he could be strong. He took everything out of me, so he could be as healthy as we so diligently prayed for.
He is my best gift given and received.
Thank you so much for taking the time to step into my journal.
P.S. I found a post that I shared when I was pregnant and it’s something I think all women should know. Check it out below.