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Bittersweet on Your 1st Birthday

A letter to my wild child, my blessing, my growler…my everything!

Son,

You are turning one in a few short days, how could that be?  I feel like you were still growing in mommy’s tummy just yesterday. I could have never imagined how perfect you would be. I never knew what true love was until you. I have watched you grow into a mindblowing toddler in what seems like the speed of light. I provided you with all the nutrients your little body needed and then taught you to provide them for yourself. I wrapped you up and embraced you with every once of my love and now I’m lucky to get those cuddles a few times a day. I held you in my lap and showed you all of God’s beautiful gifts and now I follow you to see all the beautiful gifts that you are discovering on your own. I have sang to you since you were just a seed and now you hum along with me and carry your own beautiful tune. I have given you everything that a mommy knows to give but what I didn’t expect is, everything that you would give back. I have molded you into what you will become but, my sweet boy, you have molded mommy into everything she is becoming. You have taught me to have a bigger heart, a bigger appreciation for all the little things and patience…a lot more patience! 

I’m so excited to watch you learn new things. I love the glimmer in your eye when you accomplish something brand new and you look back to make sure I’m watching. I love that your personality is infectious and you smile from ear to ear.  You are already the funniest kid I know and you haven’t even found all the words tucked in a dictionary. I’m so ecstatic about this next chapter in life with you but, I’m not ready to close the one were currently reading. 

As happy as I am to see you learn new things and grow into your own, I’m sad that your dependence on mommy is slowly departing. I picture you playing ball in the yard with mud covered toes and a dirty face, but I’m sure going to miss your sweet baby smell.

I guess I get it now. I get what all the parents told me when I was pregnant with you and even now. “They grow up Fast!”

That statement couldn’t be any truer. You my boy have grown up fast. I’m sad that all the firsts are slowly creeping behind us but I sure do look forward to all of the Big Boy firsts that we face!

It’s bittersweet son, but I wouldn’t trade anything in the entire world to not have even a second with you. My little, big boy..you’re almost 1 year old. I promise to always hold you like your a newborn, kiss your tears away, make you smile (with hopefully evolving funny voices), tell you that I love you and I’m proud of you every single day. I promise to be your very best friend until the end of time and just know that you are loved, you are loved, you are loved. 

Sullivan… You are my wild child, my blessing, my growler…my everything!

Here’s to turning 1 and all the fun we will have!

I love your whole world

❤Momma

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